2016

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2016

 A New World

"AND IN THE DARKNESS THERE GREW
A LIGHT FROM THE ESSENCE OF NOTHING"

After over 35 years of waking, working and going to sleep under the same sky  on the same piece of land.....I found myself  a stranger out in a world alone, with no home, depending on others . Needless to say I was lost without my flowers, butterflies, and the peace of  the place I had called "home"  for decades. My home for the next two years will be a 10;x10'  medal building , It was what I chose, over sleeping in someone else's 'home' on a sofa.  jt

 

Prayer for Understanding

Lord, you know my heart
my love for humanity...
You know the path I walk
You walk it with me.

Today, I don't understand
a lot of things...
I need you to help me see
beyond my loses in the day
to what it is you ask of me.

Forgive me for my weakness
but today I really need your
strength.

I need to turn my lose into
a bigger win, for those I
love....I need not to feel
I have failed..

I need more insight into
what lays ahead...

I need to do your work....
walk your walk-talk your talk
and not beat up on me.

Heal my battle wounds, Oh Lord,
turn my lose into a bigger win
Teach me winning but one race
Really matters in the end.
10:10am August 3, 2016



What was yesterday
was lessons to be
learned...
Those things that
broke your heart
cannot be undone.

What is today
is nothing but the
moment we live in
the meeting of where
yesterday was and
tomorrow begins.

What is tomorrow
nothing more than the
hopes and dreams
of the moment we live in.
11:32am July 24, 2016

Sometimes it's better
to move on than stay behind
and chance letting life
make you bitter.

Not always does the crossing
of two spirits prepare one
for their parting.

It's sometimes better to
cling to memories that
might have been-- than grasp
for things that never were.

The roads back are the same
roads that brought me to
where I am today....

Not all will love without
conditions....

Many are prepared for everything
except love....

What the heart has touched
The heart does not forget...
10:35am July 24, 2016

I will ride the waves of life
endure what comes my way
defeat the deceitful demons
in this day.

For. God is my strength
when I am weak......
Truth the blade I carry
with me.
12:04pm July 22, 2016

 

A Tugging at My Heart


There are times I have
a tugging at my heart,
a longing to hold
the children that entered
this life through my womb
and tell each of them,
in turn, how complete
each of them have
made this life
for me.

But, as life would have it be,
they have all grown up
and rightfully so,
must learn for themselves
that as mush as one loves
a child- there will come a time
to let that child go.

I cannot hold my
children next to my heart
When I remember
their growing years,
and miss them so.

So... I have placed each of them
in God's loving hands, where
my mother placed me so long ago.

-Jan Tetstone
By Heartsong
July 2016

© 2018 Heartsong (All rights reserved)



I thought I'd write
my heart out tonight
reach down to the
depths of my silence
.....
and sooth my soul.
I set here with my
thoughts and wonder
what does the silence
mean...
Why is it I cannot
capture my pain
and change it to
bits of sunshine
to sooth my soul?
1:11am June 28, 2016

Today the dark sky turned into
a gentle rain
and yesterday's tears turned
into rays of sunshine...
mingling with old memories
renewed faith entwining
with yesterday's promise
of better times.
Hope and faith belong to me
Along with love and God's
promise of everlasting peace.
4:20pm May 17, 2016

Lord, why am I so weak
what is it my heart seeks
Why, with a life so full
does my heart feel so empty?
Why Lord do I seek love
When there is so much love
all around me.......
Lord, please, take self pity
from me....and replace it with
understanding......Teach me
Lord, to be thankful for all
things and, please, give my heart
voice to sing.
11:03pm May 16, 2016

I find it hard to write what's in my heart
in the midst of troubling times.....
For it is in such times my faith
is greatest- and words are wasted
trying to explain what my heart feels.

I am made stronger in my time of grief
when silence be my sword and I carry
my Shield of Faith always before me.
10:42pm May 16, 2016

I have been set adrift on live stormy sea
To search for my destiny.
Through life's waters I walk in the darkness
of uncharted sea.
Where will my journey end-What will my
future hold for me.
This world is filled with emptiness
No sweet voice to calm my fears
would there be, if not for the sweet
voice that through my faith comforts me
in my time of need.

No loving arms to hold me gently............
Except for the arms of Jesus that comforts me
and brings me peace.
10:27pm May 16, 2016

If not for the lonely times
I would not know the value
of the time I spend with those
I love.

I thought that time had taken
from me my place in life
where I was needed.....

Until, I heard the loneliness
in the voice of my child ,
in her time of need.

Then I realized
I will always be needed
as long as I am loved.

Thank you Lord for showing me
what being lonely truly means.
10:25pm April 28, 2016

Lord, I come to you this day
I feel so out of control....
Please, Lord, watch over
my soul. jt

On the journey to meet my destiny
I am a float on life's raging sea.
Desert me not Heavenly Father
for without you I am weak....
Give me strength to swim life's sea.
Give me courage to walk through
the darkness that's closing in on me.
Give me wisdom in my time of need
to know the face of my enemy......
I am weak....Lord, Give me strength
to swim life's raging sea.
6:42pm April 27, 2016

Let the light in your eyes
brighten the light in
the eyes of another
on your journey home.

Let the love in your heart
reach out and touch
a loveless soul....

Let your spirit shine
and your joys be told.

Let loose of the worldly,
Cling to your faith
As you face in each day
your destiny.
6:58pm April 26, 2016

Every day is a blessing
Tho the world be a curse
and I the cursed.

Oh, the happy times
that once were mine.
A child was I
with a child's innocent
mind.....

Drenched in love
and sunshine.
The days found me
happy......the nighttime
found me thankful for
all my heart called mine.

Then a storm came
my innocence was gone
never again mine to claim.

It mattered not what
comes my way....part of
my heart stays locked and
I carry the key to my destiny
Beneath the darkest memory
of what once was and
what was never meant to be.
6:31pm April 26, 2016

As I set on the floor of the place
where the physical pieces of my
memories are stored, With my feet
planted firmly on the green grass
in front of me.......

A lot of things go through my mind
and I'm caught up in what was, and
what it is -I seek to find.

Once I felt loved and needed
Life was full of hope- and purpose
for me.......

Until I awoke one day and my own needs
were all that I could find......

Now, as full as my life is -its empty
and there's a part of me longing,
to be loved and needed By someone
my heart truly loves, who
loves me, and can see the need in me.

Closing the door to my memories , I accept,
faithfully, that God knows my heart and
knows all my needs.
7:33pm April 18, 2016

The life that I've lived
has left its footprints on
this heart of mine.....
looking back I can find
good times or bad times.
I can find among my memories
what my heart seeks to find.
6:54pm April 18, 2016

If tomorrow never comes
and what is to be will be
why worry in the day
over things you cannot
know or see?

Yesterdays put nothing
in a day but good or bad
memories.

Fill the day with love,
friends and family
that tomorrow may bring
a day filled with love and
peace.
12:12pm April 3, 2016

When the tides of life turn
we are not always prepared
for what is to be.
Fear not the height of the waves
nor the depth of the sea.
For in life
one must learn to take
the bitter with the sweet....
10:42pm March 17, 2016

It is not the things on the outside
that can destroy me....
It is not what the eyes can see
It is not the flesh that makes me
me.........
What makes me who I am
is not the worldly
It's the spirit inside of me.
Tho my paths have often taken me
to places I never chose to be....
It was in the darkest pits
I found bits and pieces of me.
2:51pm Feb 24, 2016

I stand strong against
life's strong winds
because of my faith

I am a wandering soul
looking for peace
in a world
where peace is
within reach
but never touched.
Still, I wander
filled with a hunger
for tomorrow's peace
That rests
just within my reach.
1:15pm Feb 9, 2016

Today, I looked out
beyond the here and now
to the things of tomorrow
which have not came.
And in the darkness
of my hopes and dreams
I found the end
to all things.
1:00pm Feb 9, 2016

I have searched long
for the answer
as a child
whispered to me
standing
at the edge of eternity.
An answer hidden
deep inside of me.
A child with the
eyes to see
the seed from which
the flower grows
decaying beneath my feet.
May the Light of Love
renew all good things
and may the flowers
reaped be free of weeds
and filled with the
aroma of peace.
Feb 5, 2016 8:06am

Today, the earth beneath my feet
is no longer a comfort
to stand upon........
The warm feel of the ground
is gone......
O weary, the soul inside of me.
It is only in the spirit of my being
I can find peace.
Where, O Lord, would you have
me be.
Feb 5, 2016 7:52am

Know, ye not, that God
watches over all who
trust in things they
cannot see...........!
Know, ye not, that God
knows and sees all things!
9:38am Jan 31, 2016

What matters if tomorrow
I die with sorrow
If today my cup of happiness
is full and running over
and I live for God.
9:18am Jan 31, 2016

With earthly eyes one sees
things of the worldly.
sometimes, which are not...

With inner eyes, through the
lens of the heart, one sees
things as they are and will
always be.
8:54am Jan 31, 2016

When a man cannot
see beyond his house
The world's evil playground
gets a little bigger.
8:41am Jan 31, 2016

Truth is the knife
evildoers fear...
Faith is the shield
a faithful man
carries......
always before him
Angels stand guard
over a good man's
heart....
Let he who seeks
to bargain with the
devil -for the hurt
of another, stand
naked in the waters
of his sin.
10:43pm Jan 30, 2016

With a vengeance life's winds
moved my world into a spin
The quite became a clamoring
thundering sound
as for the last time my life
twisted around.....
Lord, help me to overcome
whatever fear rests inside of me
and accept wherever is to be,
will be.
10:20pm Jan 30, 2016

Give me the wisdom
to choose wisely
the weapons needed
to defeat the enemy.
For, none can fight
my battles but me.
9:37pm Jan 30, 2016

Lord, you have once more
brought me to the crossing
of the roads....
Let me not choose blindly
the road that I take......
For, none but I
can carry my Shield of Faith.
9:31pm Jan 30, 2016

When the morning came
I awaken to a new world
filled with the known and
unknown.....
What was yesterday
was no more
yesterdays were gone
and there stood before me
another open door.
8:46pm Jan 30, 2016

Again ,today,
I felt the hand of God
reassuring my heart
that love is the key
to all things.......
That as long as love
lives in me...
His love for me will
fill my every need.
12:40am Jan 26, 2016

Many times I tried
to run through life
Many times I stumbled
and fell....
It was during these
times I was taught ,
with each fall,
the importance
of getting back up again
and again and again.
For, the strength of
my spirit increased
every time
I raised my shield of Faith
to help me stand.
12:26am Jan 26, 2016

There was a time
I wrote everyday
I poured my heart
out- through my
poetry....
Even when times
were hardest
I would set down
and pour my heart
into the words that
flowed...Letting loose
of my inner feelings
helped me, many times,
to cope with loneliness,
and heartache- Through my
tears...writing helped
me let self-pity go.
Life is too short to live it
beyond each moment
in the day....
Regardless, of all things
passed- I have learned
from living-the importance
of holding close to my heart
my shield of faith.
11:59pm Jan 25, 2016

There is a time in every life
for quite -for noise
for peace- for war
For the opening and
closing of doors.
There is a time in every heart
for love
For drawing one close and
for pushing one away....
There is a time for the biggest
and the smallest of things
A time to be and
A time to let be what was...
A time for day-a time for night
A time for darkness and
~a time for light.
11:34pm Jan 25, 2016

Today is the first day
of the new year...
Lord, let me carry
into the new year
Only those things
worthy of my tears...
Let me leave behind
in yesterday’s arms
those things
that caused another harm.
Let me not lose sight
of those things that
nurtured the better part
of me.....and like in the
years past...help me, Lord
to be the best that I can be.
5:36pm Jan 1, 2016

No matter what one does
in their lifetime
The dice were cast before
they were born.....
We are only an extension
of what use to be
nurtured on others'
beliefs.......
We live in the shadow
of yesterdays
and by our very presents
in the day
we fill the void
of all that was
that now waits.
5:18pm Jan 1, 2016

 



 

 

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